As anyone who has suffered a loss knows, there is no single pathway through grief. It has it’s own schedule, and ups and downs. Furthermore, each time you experience a loss can be different. Whether death comes suddenly or at the end of a long illness, there is no way to plan for how something will affect you, any more than we are able to plan for some of the most devastating forms of loss.
Aftermath Services deals with grieving families each and every day of the year. While we’ve worked with thousands of customers, we acknowledge and understand that no two situations are the same, and no two people will have the same coping strategies. Even so, we’ve made a point to become knowledgeable about some of the best strategies for managing and coping with grief. We pride ourselves on being a resource for those we work with, whether providing helpful phone numbers to local groups or agencies, or offering a referral when the work needed goes beyond the scope of what we do.
While there are hundreds of books and websites out there offering tips and pointers about how to deal with grief and loss, these are a few that we’ve found to be invaluable. We hope you will find them as useful as we have.
1. Get back to basics.
Or stick to them. Eat well, and don’t skip the gym. Even if you don’t feel like it, you need energy. Also, keeping to a schedule helps others around you focus as well. It’s easy to put your health and well-being on the backburner as you help others cope, but taking time to ensure your needs are met keeps you strong for them, too.
2. Mourn with others.
This suggestion isn’t for everyone, as people handle grief differently, and some are private about their experiences. However, it can beneficial to speak about what you’re going through, even if you don’t do much talking yourself. If you are not comfortable sharing, hearing others talk about their experiences can help you gather your thoughts and put them into perspective. Grief counselors and support groups are traditional ways to approach the conversation, but speaking to others who knew your family member or friend can provide additional relief that these settings cannot. Set aside time to spend with others who knew the person. Being comfortable sharing personal details and reminiscing about your loved one are part of the healing process.
If you prefer a less formal setting and are open to trying something new or different, Dinner Parties and Death Cafes are two modern options that have grown in popularity, particularly in larger cities. Dinner Parties are as they sound – a group of people get together for dinner, with the commonality being loss, whether it be the death of a parent, partner, or another life hurdle. On the other hand, Death Cafes are open to everyone. By learning to talk openly about death and dying, organizers hope to make attendees more at ease with mortality in general.
3. Honor their memory.
There are many ways to pay tribute to a loved one. Hosting a gathering, paying tribute at a yearly family function – all of these are ways to remember your friend or relative as they’d wish to be remembered. If you’re not into larger group activities, or you’re not sure how others will feel about them given the circumstances, consider doing something on your own in tribute to the person. Races and marathons, or charitable donations to a favorite cause are a few of the best ways to honor your loved one while giving back to the community at the same time.
If you’re religious (or your loved one was), lighting a candle and saying a prayer, or requesting a prayer be said by a local priest or pastor can help put your mind at ease. You may also consider an online memorial website, so that distant friends and relatives can take part and share their own thoughts and memories, too.
4. Find ways to talk to your loved one.
Even if they’re not present in body, they’re with you in spirit. Some find it useful to write letters to the departed, while others document their grief in a journal or personal diary. If you’re not comfortable expressing your feelings to another person, writing is a way to convey your thoughts about the loss without fear of judgement. Other suggestions include writing stories suffused with details about your loved one, whether it’s the smell of their perfume, their favorite song, or tales of the activities they used to like to do. However you chose to put pen to paper (or fingers to your keyboard),
5. Let others carry the burden for awhile.
You know all those offers people make when you are grieving? Accept them! Fill your fridge with casseroles and let the neighbor or a friend watch your children one night. Use the time you save to catch up on chores, or simply take a moment to cry, to let loose and actually grieve. It’s okay to take breaks; prioritizing yourself, along with everything else, should being on your to-do list.
Also: Having a professional biohazard company like Aftermath clean your home is a practical way to help put your mind at ease following the death of a loved one. If you’ve experienced a death in your home, you may understand the emotional and physical challenges that accompany cleanup. When a family member passes on, we put many things on hold, but a safe, healthy home doesn’t have to be one of them.
Knowing your home is clean can provide a sense of relief when you’re coping with a stressful scenario. Aftermath technicians are specially trained to provide caring and compassionate remediation assistance in a wide variety of situations, from unattended death, to suicide and homicide cleaning. Furthermore, we will work directly with your insurance company to help ease your burdens. If you’re looking for cleanup help, we’re available to take your call 24/7. Call 877-872-4339 for assistance today.